Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Chapter 25: Ramblings of a Reptile

Alright, so I'm not a reptile, but I do have a migraine and I am super tired after this week. I worked every day this week (and tomorrow) at my 2nd job which requires me to be up at 6:30am at the latest and on my feet till 11:30am after which I  go to my other job to work. It's very tiring when you throw in finals and studying and trying to keep up with being in shape. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day.
Any way, what I wanted this to be about mostly was something I discovered about my family. But I do have to mention that the people at my other job (the one that is always annoying) are being very rude and mean again. They keep saying that I have didn't give sufficient notice of needing to get off work early on Sunday. I guess a month in advance isn't sufficient. Who knew? So I got another talking to at work today and I don't know what to do any more. Mom gave me a big speech about how I need to quit that job and find something else that's not retail. Well, sorry, but someone with just a high school diploma can't do much these days. I need that job for the money. I have to save up for college. I'm 21 so I REALLY have to. But even I am beginning to wonder if the daily verbal, emotion and personal beatings are worth it. Yes, they bash me personally. "You're stupid", "You're such a know-it-all", "What a bitch", "You need to get to work" (while THEY are on facebook...) "You look stupid today", "Your music is dumb"..."Christians are stupid people". It never ends. All of these things I've said I remember because they have been said more than once and so I remember. But that's not the half of it.
But I don't want to talk them any more. So on to what I discovered about my family.
Families can be close or they can fight. It's always one or the other in real life. Sometimes they have fights (it's different then 'families who fight' meaning all the time). Why do families fight? I am sure that question has been asked over the course of millions of years. For my family, I have found the answer: We are too awkward around each other to do anything else. You want to know a secret about my family? One, there is no "I love you" exchanged between siblings. Only recently, and over facebook mind you, have my sister and started saying that to each other. Two, when we want to complain to each others faces but not quite to start a fight, we use sarcasm. Three, we cannot touch each other. We hate to sit by or snuggle with each other. Four, we hate showing appreciation, compliments or gratitude with one another.
That's the basics and it's the truth. We can't get comfy and beyond the "awkward" stage so we have to fight. We just do. We have to. I know it doesn't make sense to you, but if you are in the same situation, then you understand or you will now. Families shouldn't be awkward with each other. They should be like the fake families in the movies where the kids bond together against the bad guys and win and love each other. Oh, all that one, two, three stuff I mentioned is not just between siblings, it's parents too, except for the "I love yous", which parents are good at, but don't always mean. So yes, my family is too awkward to love and get along with each other. We need to overcome that though...and soon.
I wish I could just tell you my stories on here. Like the whole "when I was growing up..." kind of thing, but that must be reserved for the proper time...which has not seemed to have shown itself yet. I don't have much to tell. But that's why I'm trying this new exercise! I am forcing myself to find myself interesting by vlogging (not on the web though) and by posting on here AT LEAST once a week. I want to post a poem on here though later tomorrow if I can though. Meaning, if I remember.
I have my lab final tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about it though since I have a 77 in the class. Which sucks. I'm usually an A student, but clearly science is NOT my thing. I did some extra credit so I hope to get a B and up my sad GPA from last semester. This school has destroyed my GPA. I think Texas is destroying me, what with this horrid job, no friends, a disconnected spiritual life and a college that is killing my GPA (I know, jerks, it's not just the college). I'm not sure what to do, but that's where my warrior persona comes in; I will fight this fight and I will rise out of the rubble as the victor. So take that!

1 comment:

  1. Short and Sweet: I sympathize, you DO have friends (Even if they aren't in Texas), and I'm praying for you.