Sunday, July 17, 2011

Chapter 30: My World, His World

I bought a journal again to try to keep myself into writing about myself. And writing in general. It's working with music is up on the youtube account so don't forget to check that out! Also, I put together my solo music for my dance debut (whenever that is!) and I'm pretty proud of it. I'm saving up for a white costume now and (maybe) two Moorish scimitars and a white veil. It's going to be pretty epic. I also have my drum solo music picked out, which I will probably choreograph first. It's much easier.

NOTE: The guy from Chapter 29 is totally gone, just so you know. And I love it. Did he go back on his word and not be a friend when I needed one? Yes, but that's ok. Men do that.

I have these awesome fake nails on (trimmed them, painted them and glued them myself!) so it’s hard to type and therefore this may be shorter than normal because I can hardly stand the frustration of typing with long nails.
While on my way home from teaching the other day, I was thinking about God. Duh…I’ve been thinking about how I’m kind of cutting Him out of my life. Not on purpose, just not getting into the word and spending much time praying. Thought I did give a person in my life to God recently. But I don’t think He’s going to do anything until I change up a bit. So any way, what I was thinking is simple.
I created Celroth Do’non. That is the world in my Generations series of fantasy novels (it’s been years since I’ve typed that name…). I love Glenn, my chosen hero, and his brothers. And all the people I picked to help him out. They are mine and (strange as it may sound) they love me. Glenn has been with me for years.
So this is my world. A world I love, have nurtured, adored, devastate, rebuilt, taken hope from, given hope to. It’s all mine and I love them. Now, how would I feel if someone else came up, stole my manuscript, changed it around and turned it into something it was not? I would scream and be furious. I would want to kill them. Someone else coming in and taking over MY world. Making MY people do what they said! Argh, how that would burn me. My people forgetting me and listening to someone else.
Hello, God, does this sound familiar?
I would want my people back, but more than that—if they could—I would want them to want ME back. If they did—and if I could see that they did—of course I would help them come back. I can’t just go and take them back. They have to want to come back. Then it would be all the more precious. I would do what I could to bring them back, remind them who they really belong to, but it would be up to them to make the choice. I love them and cannot make them to anything they don’t want to.
Am I getting close, God?
This is our world. What I have just described is earth. We were the Creator’s and now we have been stolen…and almost no one is listening for His call. We’re all too busy worrying about our nonexistent love life, or money, school and job. Shove those and move on with your REAL life! God is calling you back to Him. That’s what I learned. Now I just have to get it right. He is calling me and I need to respond. I just wrote my personal fantasy peace “The Eternal”. The knight had to leave his family and worldly things just like Christ commanded. We need to too. I worry so much about finding a man to heal my broken heart and sooth my soul. I need to stop that. Only God can save me that way. I worry about money for school. If God wants me there—yes, I need to work for it—but He will provide. He will. He wants you to do what He wants you to do so He will make it happen.
Look at me preaching….I’m so good at theory. Let’s see how it plays out in real life. But these are things I’ve learned again and again. I hope it sticks this time. I took one step. I gave a boy I like to God. It feels good to not have him on my mind all the time. Why did I have to give him to God? Because he doesn’t know God like I do. He’s off limits. So all I can do is be a witness an pray.
That was side tracking, but whatever! I’ve learned a lot since my last devastating entry thanks to the two wise women of my life: my best friend and my sister-in-law. I am blessed, but I am blind.